From Nurse to Worse (1990) Zack asks Kelly to go steady, then falls for a nurse.

(Kelly and Zack are outside Kelly’s house)
Kelly: I had a wonderful time, Zack. That movie really got to me.
Zack: You were the only one who cried when Earnest went to jail.
Kelly: I wasn’t the only one. Vern was crying too. Well, good night, Zack.
Zack: Uh, Kelly, I never felt this way about a girl before.
Kelly: Yes?
Zack: Would you go steady with me?
Kelly: Wow, I don’t know what to say.
Kyle (Kelly’s little brother, spying from window on the second story of the house): Say goodnight! It’s past your curfew.
Zack: Uh, shouldn’t your cute little brother be in bed?
Kelly: He’s just trying to protect his big sister.
Kyle: I’m gonna tell Dad!
Zack: Hey Kyle, want to live to see tomorrow?
Zack (to Kelly): So what’s your answer?
Kelly: This is a big decision. Let me sleep on it, okay? Goodnight.
(Kelly begins to go inside her house)
Zack: Hey Kelly, no goodnight kiss?
Kyle: Take a hike, dork.

(Screech, Jessie and Slater are inside the halls of Bayside High)
Screech: *stretches a piece of rubber*
Jessie: Screech, what are you doing?
Screech: Cramming. We got school physicals today, and this year I don’t want to come in last.
(Screech does push-ups)
Lisa: Some people get a little strange when it’s time to see Nurse Butcher.
Jessie: Not me. I’m in perfect health. I eat properly, exercise daily and get the right amount of sleep. Slater: You sound like a commercial for oat bran.
(Zack enters)
Zack: Morning everyone. *happily whistles*
Slater (to Zack): What are you so happy about?
Zack: Oh nothing. Just that I expect to be with the most beautiful girl in school by the end of the day.
Lisa: Have you asked Kelly yet?
Zack: I sure did.
Jessie: Careful, Zack. If your head swells anymore, we’re going to have to drain it.
Lisa: This is hot. I have to spread it all over school.
Slater: Yeah, well don’t forget to use a shovel then.
Screech (doing jumping jacks): Time to jump.
(Everyone leaves the hallway except for Zack, who‘s at his locker)
Jennifer (a beautiful young woman who approaches Zack): Excuse me, can you direct me to the nurses office?
(Zack, left unable to speak because she’s so beautiful, just points to the nurses office)
Jennifer: That way.
(Zack makes a shape of a sign with his fingers)
Jennifer: I’ll see a sign.
(Zack nods)
Jennifer: You’re cute. Very cute
Zack (finally able to regain his voice): Thank you.
Jennifer: Oh you can talk.
Zack: Ture, I can shalk. I mean, sure, I can talk. So are you new here?
Jennifer: Today’s my first day. I’m Jennifer and I’m late.
(Jennifer leaves to find the nurse’s office)
Zack: I’m Zack... and I’m in love.

(The gang are in Ms. Simpson’s class. On the chalkboard is a poem written about clouds which reads: “Clouds can be small, Clouds can be tall. Some clouds are fast, some clouds finish dead last. Some clouds are shaped like a face, some clouds are in a race. But when I look at a cloud, it really makes me proud.”)
Ms. Simpson: Good morning class.
Class: Good morning, Ms. Simpson.
Ms. Simpson: All right, let’s begin. You were all supposed to write a poem. Who would like to recite first?
Jessie: I would Ms. Simpson.
Ms. Simpson (who’s hearing impaired): Well then, since there are no volunteers, I shall select someone. Uh, Mr. Screech, would you honor us with your verse?
Screech: This is called when morning comes. When morning comes-
Ms. Simpson (interrupting Screech): You may begin when ready.
Screech: When morning comes I raise my head, shut off the alarm and get out of bed. I brush my teeth like mother said and always feed my pet spider Ted.
Ms. Simpson: Thrilling, Mr. Screech.
Screech: I wanted to get my lizard Oscar in but I couldn’t find the rhyme.
Ms. Simpson: The time? Oh it’s 9:30. Now who will be next? Ms. Turtle?
Lisa: Ode to the mall. So many stores, all in one place, it brings a smile to my face.
Kelly: Zack, let’s talk after class, I have an answer for you.
Lisa (continues with her poem): I love to shop from shop to shop and buy and buy until I drop.
Ms. Simpson: Thank you Ms. Turtle. I like the Rocky Mountains too.
Mr. Belding(via the intercom): Good morning students. This is your principal and fearless leader.
(Class laughs)
Mr. Belding: Thank you. This week will be your annual physical and flu shot. Now to calm any fears about taking them, I will take one myself, to demonstrate to all of you that they are totally painless. Now Nurse Butcher, if you please.
(Mr. Belding screams in pain)
(Slater grabs his upper arm just thinking about the pain he’ll receive when he gets his shot)
Ms. Simpson: Well personally I liked the old school cheer better. Now, Ms. Kapowski, would you take us back to the world of poetry?
Kelly: My poem is called that special someone. Those eyes so warm, that smile so bright, I think about him day and night.
(Zack fantasizes that it’s Jennifer reading the poem)
Kelly (looking like Jennifer): The cutest guy I’ll ever see. Oh lucky, lucky, lucky me.
Mr. Belding(via the intercom): This is Mr. Belding again. Will Jessie Spano, Larry Pliskin and Zack Morris please report to the Nurse’s Office.
(Jessie and Zack get up to leave)
Ms. Simpson: Oh people please, Ms. Kapowski’s poem wasn’t that bad.
(Jessie’s at the nurses office)
Jessie(reading an eye chart): D, E, F, P, O, T, E, C
Nurse Butcher: I’m sorry, young lady. I think you need glasses.
Jessie: Glasses? You want me to look like a four-eyed frog face?
Nurse Butcher: Ribbit.
Mr. Belding (via the intercom): Nurse Butcher, report to my office immediately. My arm is throbbing.
Nurse Butcher: What a wimp.
(Nurse Butcher leaves and Zack enters)
Zack: So Jessie, how did it go?
Jessie: Do you think guys like girls with glasses?
Zack: No way.
Jessie: Who asked you?
Zack: You did.
(Jessie leaves and Jennifer enters)
Jennifer: Zack Morris? Hey I remember you.
Zack: You’re a nurse?
Jennifer: Yes. I’ll be taking over for nurse Butcher when she retires in a month. I’ll be assisting with the physical. Zack are you feeling all right?
Zack: Suddenly, I’m feeling weak.
Jennifer: Your pulse is racing. Would you like to lie down?
Zack: Oh, no. I prefer to be held.
Jennifer: I know you’re worried about the needle. Don’t worry, nobody likes shots. Trust me, you’d feel a lot better when it’s over. If you don’t, then stop by to see me any time.
Zack: Really?
Jennifer: Sure.
(Jennifer gives Zack the shot in his upperarm)
Jennifer: Now, how did that feel?
Zack: Wonderful, please do it again.

Kelly: I don’t know why Zack’s physical is taking so long.
Screech: Kelly, I know he asked you to go out, is the answer yes?
Kelly: Well you can’t tell Zack, but... (nods her head yes)
Screech: Wow, what a moment, what a thrill. First the Berlin Wall collapses, then the Brady Bunch returns and now Zack and Kelly are going steady. Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy! Only in America.
(Zack enters hallway)
Screech: Zack, this is the happiest day of my life. Congratulations.
Kelly (to Screech): You weren’t supposed to tell.
Screech: Hiss.
Kelly: Well Zack, I guess you know my answer. Yes!
Zack: That’s great Kel, but what was the question?
(Zack, still thinking about Jennifer and not waiting to hear the question, leaves)
(Slater, Jessie and Lisa at the Max)
Slater: Oh come on. It’s no big deal. Look, one of you just write “Our family doctor has already given A.C. his shot. Thanks anyway. Mrs. Loretta Slater.
Jessie: Slater, that’s not only lying, that’s forgery.
Lisa: The captian of the wrestling team is afraid of a little needle?
Slater: Don’t mention that word. I can’t even watch my mother nit.
Jess: Slater, I got real problems to worry about, okay? Look, my eyes are bad.
Slater: Yeah well, the rest of you makes up for it, Mama.
(Kelly enters)
Kelly: Lisa, Jessie, I need to talk to both of you. Now.
Jessie: Girl talk, Slater. Pardon us.
Slater: Okay, but first, Kelly I always admired you handwriting and was wondering if-
Jessie(interrupts Slater): Move it
Slater: I love it when you treat me rough.
(Slater leaves)
Lisa: What’s the problem, Kelly?
Kelly: Zack doesn’t want to go out with me anymore. Is it possible he likes someone else?
Lisa: Kelly, get real. He’s been in love with you for years, there’s got to be another reason.
Jess: If it’d make you feel better, I’ll talk to him.
Kelly: That’d be great, Jess.
Jessie: But first I need an honest answer. How do I look in these glasses?
Lisa: Rediculous. You’re lucky you don’t have to wear them.
Kelly: They’re not so bad.
Jessie: Thanks, Kelly.
(Screech enters)
Screech: Oh, nice glasses Jessie.
Jessie: You really like them?
Screech: Yeah, all of my grandmother’s friends have glasses just like them.

(Zack is alone in his room)
Zack (looking into a mirror): Hi, Jennifer. Hello there, Jennifer. Yo, Jen Babe.
(Jessie climbs through Zack’s bedroom window)
Jessie: Zack, can I come in?
Zack: Hey, Jessie, what are you doing here?
Jessie: Kelly’s really upset. You asked her to go steady and now you’re backing off. What’s up?
Zack: Look, Jessie, I can’t tell you.
Jessie: Zack, we’ve been friends since the first grade. You can trust me.
Zack: Alright, but you have to promise you won’t tell any of the guys. Jessie: I promise. Trust me.
Zack: I’m in love with the school nurse.
Jessie: You pig. How is Kelly going to feel when you dump her for some flu-shot fluzy.
Zack: Hold on, I didn’t say I want to dump her. Kelly is a great girl... in a young sort of way.
Jessie: What are you going to do, go out with her and the nurse?
Zack: It’s not a bad idea.
Jessie: Kelly’s going to be really upset when she hears about this.
Zack: But she’s not going to hear because you promised not to tell. Now what do you think of this new tie?
Jessie: I think it should be tighter.
(Jessie tightens the tie around Zack’s neck causing him to almost choke)

(Kelly, Lisa and Jessie are in Ms. Simpson’s class)
Kelly: Jessie, did you see Zack this morning?
Jessie(very solemnly): yes.
Kelly: Well how does he feel about me?
Jessie: Well, when I left he was all choked up.
Kelly: Really? Maybe we’re going together after all.
Ms. Simpson: That’s wonderful, Kelly. Two students from my class going steady.
Lisa: Ms. Simpson, you heard us?
Ms. Simpson: Yes, I got a new hearing aid. It’s a brand new model. Very sensitive.
(Bell rings)
Ms. Simpson(reacting to the noise, and putting her hands to hear ears): Ahh!
(Zack enters the classroom)
Zack (speaking in a low voice, doing his best sick-look immitation): Ms. Simpson, I’m not feeling too well. Can I go to the nurse?
Ms. Simpson: Yes, but you don’t have to shout.
Kelly (to Zack): I can walk you there.
Zack: Oh, no!
Ms. Simpson(puts her hands to her ears): Ahh!
Zack (to Kelly): I mean, you wouldn’t want to see this.
Jessie: You can say that again.
(Zack leaves)
Ms. Simpson: Now let us continue to the romantic poets and turn our attention to the gentle words of Percy Shelby.
(Mr. Belding enters)
Mr. Belding: Ms. Simpson?
Ms. Simpson: Ahh! I had it with this hearing aid. (she takes the hearing aid out of her ears) What did you say?
Mr. Belding: Never mind. Slater report for your physical.
(All the students hum the Death March)
Slater: Very funny.
(Slater leaves)

(Zack and Jennifer are in the nurse’s office)
Zack: Hi there, Jennifer.
Jennifer: Well, hello, you look nice all dressed up.
Zack: Thanks for noticing, Jen.
Jennifer: What can I do for you?
Zack: Oh boy, now there’s a question. I mean, my head is feeling hot.
Jennifer: Mmm.. Feels cool to me.
Zack: That’s what I meant. I’m freezing.
Jennifer: You know there is a very strange reaction to a flu shot. I wonder what’s going on in that body of yours.
Zack: Whoa. Uh, Jennifer, there’s something I should tell you.
Jennifer: Maybe I should take your temperature. I left my thermometer in the other room. Relax. (Jennifer pulls accross the curtain around the bed, and Zack lies down)
(Jennifer leaves)
(Slater enters, but Zack can’t tell it’s Slater because of the curtain)
Zack: Jennifer is that you?
Slater (in a high voice, trying to sound like Jennifer): Mm hmm
Zack: Aren’t you coming in?
Slater: Mm mmm
Zack: Oh Jennifer, don’t be shy. Look, I never believed in love at first sight til I saw you the other day in the hall. This is the real thing. Don’t fight it. Just go with it.
(Slater still trying to sound like Jennifer giggles)
Zack: Yes my darling, we were meant to be together, be mine.
(Zack pulls back the curtain only to see Slater)
Zack: Where’s Jennifer?
Slater: Who cares? I’m yours.
Zack: Slater, how much did you hear?
Slater: Just enough to destroy you with Kelly forever.
Zack: You wouldn’t.
Slater: I would. But I could also just keep it between you, me and the curtain if you do a little something for me. How do you feel about taking another flu shot?
(Nurse Butcher enters)
Nurse Butcher: Ok, which one of you is A.C. Slater?
Zack: (sighs) I am.
(Zack rolls up his sleeve thinking he’ll get a shot in the arm)
Nurse Butcher: Bend over blondie.
(Screech and Zack are at the Max. Screech is running in a circle around the tables)
Screech: What did you want to see me about, Zack?
Zack: Would you sit down so I can talk to you?
Screech: I can’t sit down. I’m training. The physical’s today.
Zack: It’s about Kelly and me.
Screech: Oh, lovely couple. Only in America.
Zack: No, I don’t want to go out with her exclusively. I want to date other girls.
(Screech stops running.)
Screech: What about the wedding? I bought you a blender.
Zack: Screech, just keep the gift. I’ll be okay. Kelly will need someone to take her mind off me for awhile. Do you know someone?
Screech: What about Slater?
Zack: Oh, no, no, no. We need someone more sensitive. Someone like you.
Screech: Well there’s this new kid named Melvin Nerdly.
Zack: Nerdly? I love him already.
Screech: He’s a substitute on the chess team.
Zack: Great. What’s he like?
Screech: He’s not as cool as I am. He’s kind of a geek.
Zack: That’s perfect.
Screech: I’ll go talk to Melvin right now.
(Kelly enters)
Kelly: Hi Screech
(Screech whimpers and leaves)
Kelly: Alright Zack, I thought you wanted to go steady. What’s going on?
Zack:I think we should date other people.
Kelly: Date other people? What for?
Zack: I adore your innocense. But Kelly, think of a nut on a forset floor, now it needs space if it’s going to grow. And you and I are those nuts.
Kelly: No Zack, you’re nuts. Is there someone else you want to go out with?
Zack: Now Kelly, believe me there is not another student at school that I’m interested in.
Kelly: Are you sure about this, Zack?
Zack: Trust me, it’s for the best.

(Zack leaves and Slater, Jessie and Lisa enter)
Slater: Hey Kelly.
Lisa: What’s wrong, Kelly?
Kelly: Men. Especially Zack Morris.
Slater: Hey don’t judge us by our worst specimen.
(Kelly leaves)
Lisa: What Zack do to her?
Jessie: I wish I could tell you.
Lisa: Jessie, do you know what’s going on?
Jessie: No, no. I just mean I wish I did.
Slater: Jessie, you might not be the only one who wished they could tell what they know.
But Mr. S made a promise to Mr. Z not to tell anyone.
Jessie: Ms. J made the same promise.
Slater: Does Me. J know about the new N who’s been causing all the problems for Ms. K?
Jessie: Ms. J knows all about it.
Lisa: Well, then why don’t you just tell the new nurse what Zack did to Kelly. I’m sure she can take care of it.
Jessie: We promised we wouldn’t tell.
Lisa: Well Ms. L here didn’t, and she’s telling.
Slater: And we’re watching.
(Jessie, Slater and Lisa are at the nurses office with Jennifer)
Jennifer: I can’t believe he’d treat his girlfriend this way.
Slater: Well now that I’ve seen you..
(Jessie gives slater an evil look)
Slater: I mean, that swine.
Jennifer: Well just leave everything to me. I’ve had plenty of experience dealing with
sick people.
Lisa: Thanks a lot, Jennifer.
(Jessie notices the eye chart)
Jessie: Wait, I don’t understand how I could have gotten all of these wrong. They look so clear to me. (Reading the letters) D, E, F, P, O, T, E, C.
Jennifer: Jessie, you got them all right. Who told you that you need glasses?
Jessie: Nurse Butcher.
Jennifer: Blind-as-a-bat Butcher? She can hardly see, that’s why she’s retiring. Today she gave a flu shot to the flag pole.
(Jessie drops a lot of glasses out of her bag and onto a table)
Jessie: Maybe you can find someone else who can use these.
Jennifer: Let’s get lover-boy in here and let him see a side of me he’s never seen before.

(Zack and Jennifer are in the nurse’s office)
Zack: Oh Jennifer, I’m back. You wanted to see me?
Jennifer: I certainly did.
(Jennifer locks the door)
Jennifer: It’s rather warm in here, don’t you think?
(Jennifer takes off her Nurse’s jacket and takes her hair out of a bun.)
Jennifer: So Zack, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you.
Zack: Oh really?
Jennifer: You like me, don’t you Zack?
Zack: Oh yeah.
Jennifer: You’re sweet... not like my husband.
Zack: Your husband?!
Jennifer: Yes. He’s a professional wrestler. Hulk Hogan says he could be the champian, except for his violent temper.
Zack: Violent temper?! Oh, Jennifer, maybe I better be leaving.
Jennifer: Let’s run away together.
Zack: Oh, no, I can’t sleep over on schoolnights.
Jennifer: Let’s get married and have ltos of children.
Zack: Uh, Jennifer, I have a girlfriend.
Jennifer: She can sit for us.
(Zack had been sitting on the counter and while moving to avoid Jennifer, he managed to fall into the sink)
Jennifer: Zack, do you want a girl... or a woman.
Zack: I want to get back to class.
(Zack unlocks the door and races back to class)

(Outside Kelly’s house)
(Kelly opens the door to see Zack standing outside her house)
Kelly: Zack, what are you doing here?
Zack: What am I doing here? I came to see you.
Kelly: Well you kind of picked an awkward time.
(Melvin opens the front door and steps outside)
Kelly (to Zack): This is Melvin Nerdly.
Zack: You’re Melvin Nerdly?
Melvin: Just call me Mel.
Zack: You play chess?
Melvin: Yes, and football and baseball and hockey. I even model a little.
Melvin(to Kelly): See you tomorrow.
Kelly: Great.
(Melvin leaves)
Kelly: It was a great idea about seeing other people, Zack. Tonight he taught me chess. Tomorrow - lambada.
Zack: Look, Kelly, I’ve been acting crazy, but now I’m back to normal. I wanna go out with you and nobody else.
Kelly: Zack, I adore your innocence. When two nuts in a forest are dating other nuts, they can’t go steady with each other.
(Kelly goes back inside)
Zack: Oh, wait Kelly. Come on Kelly.
Kyle(to Zack): Go away, or you’ll be sorry.
Zack: Kyle just butt out.
Kyle: Okay, I warned you.
(Kyle pours a bucket of water on top of Zack’s head)